happy familyNo day invites conflict like Christmas Day. Consider it as a template for conflict resolution:

I know you are in a rush and it’s all going to work out! But, it’ll work out a little better if you’ll employ some or all of the following three tactics for a better moment (especially for Christmas day). The picture is what we want.

BUT— 99% of us have some kind of conflicts or frustrations with others on Christmas Day . I know it feels horrible, but it’s actually a day just like the rest of the year when it comes to conflicts! We only are EXPECTING IT to be BETTER for 1 Single Day! That really adds to the problem. The other thing that hurts is that we are all different; the very reason we where drawn together. One of my professors you to tell us,


Here are the 3 things you can do for everything to be profoundly better. I won’t take the time to explain why, just try them out and see if things are good:

1. Realize and think about what one of my friends/mentors (Robert Fritz) says, “We are on loan to each other.” That is exactly right. It’s only going to last for a little while. We don’t own and can’t control each other… so, STOP IT!

2. Realize you don’t know the future, but pretend that you do all the time. When you ‘know’ that someone is going to not like a gift or someone is going to misbehave…you are mentally presuming upon the future (and God’s providence). You might be right, but you might be wrong. Why not settle into just being an honest person who can say, “I don’t know.” Is it going to be a good day? I don’t know. Will Uncle Rufus make fun of the cheese grits? I don’t know. Will Cindy Lu be upset about the roast beast like last year? I don’t know. You get the idea…it will free you to allow what happens to just unfold.

3. In any situation, you can finally realize that the circumstances won’t last forever. We live in TIME, which means change. We aren’t yet in an eternal hell or heaven, but when you think something bad will last forever, that is hell. Try saying these words to yourself a few times when something isn’t quite perfect, “It won’t last forever.” You’ll be surprised how calming it is!

Merry Christmas (and the rest of the year)!

Off to learn,

Fred Ray Lybrand

P.S. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Also you can get these regular insight by joining my occasional contact list (un-join anytime): SUBSCRIBE ME

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